Day Ten

So I come from the 12 step school of recovery ... you know you have to be abstaining from SOMETHING.

So ... since I have to be abstaining from something and for twenty long years I have tried to make that something be sugar ... never mind that doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results IS insanity ...

oops! where was I? Ah yes. I was trying to abstain from sugar .... with extremely limited success for over twenty years. But this time I WOULD do it ... uh huh. yeah right.

So now on No S I can have sweets on S Days sometimes.

I don't intrepret this as a weekend food free for all. I don't interpret this as a need to eat any- and everything that is pushed in front of my face. I don't intrepret this as a reason to eat anything I really don't enjoy or want. I don't intrepret this as instructions to STUFF myself. Nor do I intrepret this as a reason to ingest sugar to the point I wake up in a sugar coma on Monday mornings.

I intrepret this as IT IS FINALLY OK to walk over to the donut shop with my husband and have a couple of donuts and a cup of chai tea latte. If later in the day I want a few chunks of chocolate ... great enjoy.

Curious about that new dessert place in the boho neighborhood ... by all means check it out. Plan a romantic italian dinner with your husband who is still your lover and gaze meaningfully into each other's eyes over a plate of ... whatever.

So WHAT THEN am I abstaining from on the NO S diet?

For me it is binging.

And I beleive that for me STOPPING BINGING will be a dramatic shift in my life and my consciousness and my experience on this planet.

Here's to Reinhard Engels and to "truly deeply rewarding ourselves"