Your Hunger, My Hunger, Our Hunger ... Not Reliable!

So I am re-reading the No S Diet Book. I had a professor in college who told me that if I wanted to retain the knowledge that I read, it would be helpful to read the subject matter three times.

There is some truth to this in that it reminds you of things that you registered the first readings, but the amazing thing, is the things that you didn't register...

DID I READ THIS?

We have a lot of concern about hunger these days.

We are told to eat four, five, six, seven times a day. Mini-meals. Healthy snacks.
PRIMING OUR METABOLISM.

But Reinhard Engels points out in his slim tome that this is unnatural, even UNCIVILIZED, making the following point:

"Human beings in traditional societies didn't eat because they were hungry; food was too scarce and precious and hard to prepare for that. Our ancestors went hungry a lot."

I think that is kind of deep.

When you really stop and think about it.

It is really deep.
It kinds of puts food and eating in perspective.

And it is possible, that as Reinhard points at, that as hunger is a biological drive to assure that we do not starve to death,

in the world of 24/7 grocery stores, fast food joints and pizza delivery,

it is entirely possible that your hunger, my hunger, our hunger ....

is not an entirely trustworthy advisor as to when ...

and how much ....

to consume.

Just a thought!

Photo: Homemade rajma curry with cilantro and side salad of mixed greens, carrot, tomato, black olive and EVOO

She Likes to Eat Green Beans

So green beans are in season! YAY!

I am not quite sure what it is about green beans but I JUST LOVE THEM!
They are one of my favorite foods.
So I was super excited when I went to the Farmer's Market and they had ...

you guessed it ... Green Beans!

I love them mostly with Olive Oil, salt and pepper.

All I have to say to that is YUM YUM!

And today as Tuesday, much simpler than Monday.
I am back into work,
back into my N day groove ...

it's all good.

Photo: tofu sausage, steamed GREEN BEANS with EVOO salt and pepper, salad with mixed greens, carrot, tomato, black olives and EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)

WAhhhhhhH!

The photo today is frozen homemade toll house cookies. Today is Monday, an N day and they are in the freezer where the belong, TODAY.

This morning I was running errands and I drove by Starbucks. My inner toddler through an inner hissy fit as we drove by.
HOW could a chai tea latte POSSIBLY hurt me this morning?
It was so good yesterday!

SHE hasn't quite gotten yet that it was so good YESTERDAY, precisely BECAUSE we do not drink them EVERY SINGLE DAY only on S days.

WAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhH!

was about all she had to say to that. My inner toddler, this tiny chick with a humoungous appetite is not one for logic, common sense or anything even closely approximating reason.

It makes me wonder, you know when I was a REAL KID did they really just stuff a cookie in my mouth to shut me up? Get me off their back? Too much trouble, effort, energy to redirect my energies to something more ... productive?

I don't know how this AWFUL HABIT of mine developed. All I know is that it is possible that playing sensible mommy to an inner two year old might be just as difficult as being a real mommy to a living breathing one.

I'll never know for sure. I can only be certain that she is VERY STRONG WILLED.
Thank goodness I have NO S to help optimize my OWN will power in dealing with her.

Needless to say, mommy won today and she is SULKING but looking forward to the chai tea latte and chocolate chip cookies we will have NEXT SATURDAY!

photo: homemade chocolate chip cookies in the freezer, where they belong, TODAY

S Days

Let's face it, I love S days. Why?

There are so many reasons. First of all they are recommended. I really love that. On the No S Diet you are not only encouraged to participate in S days, you are also encouraged to ENJOY them.

What a concept.

Oh. And there is not just one S day or one S meal ... there are two S days ... every single week.

Imagine that. Saturday and Sunday, every single week.

There are no rules on S days. Finally, that freedom lover within us all get's their day ... I mean ... their DAYS!

I love S days because they give food and eating on the No S diet ... it's appropriate weekend like place. I mean we have weekends for a reason.

But what I really love MOST about S days ... is you can't screw up. There is just NO WAY. I mean THE ONLY WAY you can screw up your S days ... is well, to not insert those five little N days in between them.

I really love that.

Photo: Berkeley Soy Cheese Veggie Pizza and Arugula Salad from Z Pizza

Look Ma' No Hands!

Part of the huge amount of stress of dieting is social occasions.

Now why is that?

Is it because almost every single social occassion involves eating, food, drinking, ingesting, something of some sort?

I don't know for sure, but I'd say .... hmmmmmmmm

Probably.

So if you are on a DIET that implies that you are following a proscribed set of rules about eating, food, drinking and/or ingesting. They might be rules as to WHEN you can eat, they most certainly might have something to do with HOW MUCH you will eat, they might ... if they have a more esoteric bent even have a concern with WHY you are going to eat ... THAT. Most often they will have some say in WHAT you can eat.

Which let me say right now ... is often quite limited in some regard.

SO when you are faced with the myriad and ironically somewhat equally limited options at certain social occasions, well you know ... the opposition ... between WHAT you are SUPPOSED to be eating and WHAT is actually AVAILABLE can often be ... well, HUGE!

So there in is the cause of stress.

But with No S. Guess what? Many of our social occasions fall on the weekend. Now I know not all of them do, but that's all about NWS days ...

ANYWAY ... what I am saying is this.

The large majority of our social engagments occur on Saturday and Sunday ... S days.

When we are allowed to behave like grown-ups with food, take the training wheels off with food and you know take those big hills and drive down those spiral driveways and maybe even dirt bike it and go off road.

This is fun. This is much less stressful than constant inhibition. And just in case we fall over, scrape our hands and knees, forgot to wear our helmets ... what have you ....

there is always Monday when we can pick ourselves up, wash our cuts and scrapes, put on a few bandaids, dust ourselves off, have a nice one plate breakfast and get on with the business of living.

Photo: a rather large piece of Von's German Chocolate Cake

Can't Work ... Too Busy Eating

This week went by amazingly fast. Except for the difficulties of yesterday morning ... which were something like ...

I just wanted to EAT. Pretty much anything would have been allright.

I just wanted FOOD.

When it comes at you like this.

Hard. Strong. Fast.

An instantaneous onslaught of HUNGER

I have learned this is not

Physical Appetite.

No that is EMOTIONAL HUNGER.

Curiously, it was not immediately apparent, the cause. I had to think on it.

For a few minutes.

And then I realized that PROJECT.

That has been on the back burner, the one that has waited

Until all other things got done.

Well, yesterday was the day, to face it.

Apparently I would have much preferred to eat.

Just about anything.

But then I thought of my Habitcal. Hahahaha.

No. Then I realized I was not going to eat.

Pretty much no matter what.

Once I made THAT decision, the only thing left was to

overcome inertia and get on with it.

Which I did.

And by 4:00 in the afternoon I was no longer STARVING.

EMOTIONALLY HUNGRY.

That EMOTIONAL HUNGER it's just so convincing.

I think adhering QUITE RIGIDLY to the precepts of No S is the only way for someone like me to ... you know ... get through it.

And on the other side it feels really nice, clean, even honorable.
Why? Because I DID get to mark my square green on Habitcal and I DID have a tremendous breakthrough on my project ...

which I definitely would not COULD NOT have had if I had slacked off into one of those ...

Can't work ... too busy eating!

photo: homemade pea, cauliflour, tofu curry with cilantro and brown rice

Thank You!

Well first of all I want to say thank you Thank You THANK YOU!

There are two "people" involved in the blogosphere, that would be the, yes, writer of said blog .... which is of course completely a sad, lonely, little blog unless and until that very other important person shows up and that, my dear friend would be YOU!

So I must say THANK YOU for coming by to check out my thirty day results yesterday and then staying to hang out awhile.

YOU ARE MUCH APPRECIATED!

VERY MUCH!

This weightloss stuff is an interesting phenomenon.

We want to, I think, all of us, get on with our lives,

put it behind us for once and for all.

And part of that,

putting it behind us for once and for all,

part of that resolution,

is well,

looking and feeling the best that we can.

So I am writing this blog because I fervently believe that the No S Diet can do this,

not just for Reinhard, but for me and for several and/or many of you,

and so I am inspired,

for myself

and for us,

to make a record

of it all.

For those who want to see

if this is the way that will work for them too.

For all of us walking down that road called life to just see what ... and whether ... all that

you know,

will happen.

photo: organic plain yogurt, fresh strawberries and walnuts

Thirty Day Results

Allright. Well there you are. These are my results for my first thirty days on the No S Diet!

Let's see ....
this was 30 days On Habit
which means for 30 days I had only yellow or green squares on my Habitcal
this includes two NWS days (Non-Weekend S days)

Ok. My starting weight was ... 134.6 pounds

My current weight ... drum roll puleeeeease!
Oops! think I gave it away with that big ole picture of my scale monster...

Yup. My current weight is 129.4 pounds.

WHICH gives me a loss of:

5.2 pounds
3.86% of my total body weight

moving me down the BMI spectrum from 23.7 to 22.8.

Well, there you have it folks.

I am pleased.
I am happy.
I am satisfied.

And now I am going to go and eat a huge one plate breakfast.
Hahahahha ... no really ... I am not joking!

Tata from the scale monster until next month!

photo: Me, on the scale monster, today

the little black cloud of endless doom has lifted

Well today was day thirty and tomorrow I will assess and post the mathematical results of my journey on the NoSDiet so far.

What do I have to say for today?

Well mostly that the "newness" of it all has definitely worn off.

I seem to be into a routine ....

OH? Is that Habit?

Mostly I seem to be more busy with the things in my life that have meaning to me and I steadily seem to be growing more focussed on THESE things.

You know things other than ... what's the latest diet?

Or maybe I should just try that one, the one that worked that one time again.

Come on, you know what I mean.

Dieting, Restricting, Binging ... the whole thing just requires so much time and attention.

I am not sad or sorry to see it go.

I am certainly not experiencing greif at the loss of

ALL THAT.

No my life is just humming along, me just another one with all of you out there ...

walking my path, pursuing my dreams ...

the little black cloud of endless doom has lifted.

And while there may not be much newness left, there is definitely a lot more sunlight.

Photo: today's lunch - tofu sausage, green peas with EVOO, salt and pepper, mixed greens with cucumber and EVOO

More Money

So I have found that since I have been nosing I have more money.

Seriously. Binging can get really expensive. We budget a certain amount of pocket cash each week. When I am binging it is just never enough.

But since I have been nosing each week I end up with a little jingle in my pocket. Some weeks quite a bit of jingle. Enough last week to pay for all the paint and painting supplies to create my green room dream come true room this past weekend.

Which by the way, came out so COZY!

Hmmmmm....
I guess selling all those sweets and snacks and seconds is quite lucrative.
Hmmmmm....

Photo: homemade brown dal with fresh cilantro, this is one of my staples. I could eat it everday.

My GREEN room Dream Come True Room

Well tonight is four weeks.

I had a really amazing weekend. My husband and I had a lot of fun friday night

watching a Boston Legal DVD.

I have never been a William Shatner fan, no trekkie here BUT

William Shatner IS JUST HYSTERICAL in Boston Legal.

That show is so off the wall, silly, fun and irreverent.

DENNY CRANE!

Then Saturday I painted my "work room" "room of my own"

GREEN.

I have wanted a GREEN room for years ... one of those things I

would think about but just not quite ever find the time or energy

to get around to doing.

But now it's Sunday evening and I have a beautiful GREEN room to

go to work in. YAY!

I think being on NO S, energy previously devoted to:

what I was going to eat, what I was not going to eat

the latest diet that works, the latest diet that doesn't work

the latest celeb tips, ok WHAT ARE THEY NOT TELLING US

eating too much, feeling wiped out sluggish and inert from eating too much

with all that OUT OF THE WAY ...

guess what, seems like now I actually have time to live ....

and apparently make one of my dreams come true...

A lovely lilting beautifully GREEN room!

photo: egg salad sandwich made with vegannaise and sprouted wheat bread with lettuce and red onion, petite carrots from the farmer's market

Donuts and Chai Tea Latte

All the years my husband and I have been married we have had little weekly rituals that we share.

Through the years they change, and we come up with new ones to replace the ones that have
worn themselves out.

A few weeks before I started No S my husband tried this little donut shop within walking distance from where we live. He told me the donuts were delicious.

They are.

It has been wonderfully fun for us to get up on Saturday and Sunday the past few weeks and walk over to the donut shop and then go on to Starbucks to get a chai tea latte for me and a coffee for him.

This simple pleasure is enhanced by the guilt-free bliss of S days.

Photo: chocolate cake donut, glazed twist and chai tea latte

The End of the Binge Eating Disorder and the Cutesy Jingle

"... you don't really believe that a huge, potentially crippling problem like being overweight or obese could be solved by a cutesy jingle. It can - ..."

Reinhard Engels, The No S Diet

When I read the No S diet book, there were so many things within it with which I could easily and absolutely agree with.

But not everything.

And those last two words of that quote "it can",

was a line in the sand,

a point of deep and utter skepticism born out of

a myriad and abundant other approaches in the past that for me had ...

not only held out false hope,

but also required huge skads of my time, energy,

self-esteem, money ... and/or pleasure

and let's face it ...

DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

to end my rough relationship with food, eating and the physical sustenance that they are supposed to provide.

It is almost amazing that I dared hope ... AGAIN...

One More Time....

Of course, I am eternally grateful that I did... and I am coming up on the end of my

fourth week of Nosing and ...

well EVERYTHING about me and my relationship with food has been transformed ...

so now I can agree ...

with those two little words ...

IT CAN.

Photo: Today's lunch ... tofu, avocado, black olive salad in ONE BOWL, of course!

Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Happy, Sleepy and Sneezy ... where's Grumpy?

This is truly amazing! I have been nosing for twenty-five days and not only is my eating all ordered ... but I am having a psychological transformation as well!

I guess undereating, overeating, refusing to eat sweets, eating too many sweets, being holier than thou, being I don't care at all ... added up to a kind of schizophrenic and ... well....

pretty GRUMPY experience!

So now I am having a profound personality change or blossoming ... and

no more GRUMPY!

Where is that little dwarf, hiding under the bed, in the closet, in the back of the pantry, or maybe he has just run away from home.

All I know is that right now he is not front and center in my life.

YAY!!

So I have put up a photo of my monster one-plate breakfast that I eat about three days a week.

Whew!!!!!

Well I survived my NWS - Non Weekend S Day!

But I was kind of weird with it.
My inner rebel is beginning to assert herself... she is a toddler and even though she has bright blue eyes and a cherub smile she is something fierce and definitely a force to be reckoned with!

ANYWAY ... Monday and Tuesday this week I did NOT want to eat three meals.
TOO MUCH FOOD! I don't want it!
But I did. Why? I am building HABIT.
AND HAVING TO LEARN how to eat three plates a day and make sure it is NOT
TOO MUCH FOOD.

So today ... being an NWS day ... my inner toddler got HER way...
we skipped breakfast and made our special lunch with our friend into a brunch that lasted about three hours.
We ate outside on the patio, underneath the umbrella, which was underneath the clear blue Socal Skies!!!
It was lovely. It was leisurely. The food .... salad, homemade spelt rosemary bread, and cannellini beans with garlic tomato sauce and greens was YUMMY!
then we topped it off with a few nice pieces of Godiva Chocolate.

So ... after my friend left and I cleaned the HORRENDOUS mess in my kitchen!!!!

I sauntered over to our neighborhood Starbucks and thoroughly enjoyed my DRINKY THING! Just one.
Followed that up with a shot of Mona Vie when I got home.
That was all over about 4:30 and then I was busy busy busy like a little bee...
now it is time to go to bed and yes I am a BIT hungry,
but honestly it feels good and my inner toddler is happy,
she got her way today... she feels like she got to break the rules and that just
makes her all happy inside!

So that is what No S gives me... structure that I NEED and freedom that me and my inner toddler WANT!

Sweet Dreams All!

NWS Day Tomorrow?

Well, I WAS planning to have a NWS day tomorrow but now I am not sure whether I will or not.
I am planning to have a friend over for a special lunch, thus the NWS day. It would seem odd to foist food upon her that I am not going to share in,
it would seem equally odd on this special occasion to restrict our lunch to only one plate.

But there was an unforeseen occurrence in her life today and for the moment I am in limbo.
At first, two weeks ago, when I planned this it sounded just like a great idea.
Now, today, only two N days into my week I have been a bit wiggy.

Not sure I like the idea at all of breaking that nice little five day N day stretch. At this point, fairly early in my NO S life the five N days are like a life boat. Saving me from ... exactly what I am not certain.

I think saving me from overeating. For I have not been binging. But on some of my S days the food has tilted towards overeating. JUST TOO MUCH.

I paradoxically have a heightened sensitvity to all this since starting and staying on NO S.
Heightened sensitivity to my own hunger.
It is very clear to me now whether I get hungry for each meal.
If I do not, I know I DID REALLY eat too much on the last one.
Its not equivocal, I am hungry or I am not. And so far, there is less ...
so far, my getting hungry has been more reliable on my N days.
I guess I have managed it better, my hunger, my inner toddler.

So ... I find I am preferring my five N days in a row!
Not wanting to mess with the nice soothing comforting rhythm of N days.
with a NWS day!

Well, we shall see what tomorrow brings.

Variety IS the spice of life

Well I am done with the twenty-one day thing and now I am an official member of the NoS 21 club!
I will sign up tonight.
As promised I will now, hopefully, be coming up with titles for my daily blog that are a bit more creative. Themes, ideas, etc.

The only other housekeeping note is this: I will be posting the physical part of my results every thirty days here on the blog, so those will be coming in nine more days. I am sure we are both, you and me, curious as to what they will be.

I am a bit tired today. It is about 4:00 pm and I would just like to crawl under the covers but I still have much to do before my day is done. I will probably make a point to get to bed early-er tonight.

My husband and I get up fairly early on weekday mornings, but sometimes we go askew on the weekends. This past weekend was a bad one for us in sticking to our get to bed schedules. We stayed up late both nights and I am paying for that indulgence today!

Variety IS the spice of life ... and I can tend to get in a rut with me eating,
Especially when I am "dieting". Of course if the diet is particularly complicated I might figure out a few staple items and just hang with those... I have been known to do this for months ...

Yes I lose weight but they are most often followed by mad and frenzied binging cycles.
It's been hard to establish variety, order, sanity, and efficiency into my food life.

But now with NO S diet the concept of S days is kind of a built-in preplanned, marble rolling down the groove in the sandhill, way to acheive variety somewhat effortlessly. That fulfills my need for a certain amount of efficiency. Because S days are clear ... that brings an order to it all. And then of course, it becomes fun to think up ... what will it be this weekend? Undoubtedly something different... there is the variety.

As a result of ALL that you end up with quite a bit of sanity.

I like it.

For the record. IT is day twenty-two ... and I am back ON HABIT! Another little green square on Habitcal.

Day Twenty-One

Well this is it. I have made it twenty-one days.

Have I created a new habit? Yes I think I have.
Is it deeply ingrained?

Probably not yet. But ...
with the NO S diet ... as the folks on the forum have suggested that I would ....
I have embarked on a completely new relationship with food.

It is very interesting how it has evolved even just over a relatively brief twenty-one day period.

Tonight is the end of my third S day weekend. Each weekend was a little bit different. The first was scary and exciting. I was not at all certain I would be able to get back on habit on Monday.

The second S weekend I found with the treats I couldn't get in my three meals a day. I fretted about that. Would it throw me off on Monday?
No, come Monday morning everything was fine.

This weekend I really looked forward to it with a sense of , I believe inner security. The treats
would be there. I would be there. We would be there together for the weekend.
Then ... on Monday ...
I feel fairly confident I will be back on habit.

It IS hard to explain. The inner dynamic ... the inner healthy loving potentially sustainable dynamic that has been released by a commitment to follow a few simple rules with basically no equivocation.

There is a gift within all this. It is a gift to be received by anyone who is willing to do the same I believe.
It is really remarkable.
Really remarkable.

Day Twenty

Today I am thinking about substance over volume.

For many many many even a countless number of years I was convinced.
It was the sugar. It was the white flour. If I could BUT eliminate these
two particular substances from my life, my diet, my plate ... my desires.
I would be enlightened. Liberated.
Freed at last.

This went on for twenty-one years.
I think ... that is KIND OF a really PRETTY LONG TIME.
Don't you?
Yeah.

So. I could't do it.
I failed. Miserably. Again. And again.
And yet one more time.

But then, almost ten years ago I got this book
The Seven Secrets of Thin People.
They had a variety of "exercises" in eating awarness.
I remember one.
I used to drink coffee.
I drank it for about five years.
It was something my husband turned me on to.
Actually what he turned me onto was this concoction of chocolate, milk, and sugar, with a little bit of coffee...
a cafe mocha.

THAT I LIKED.
I learned how to make cafe mocha's at home. For one of our anniversaries he bought me a nice big coffee mug ... Ziggy with outstretched hands I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH ... it was a huge coffee cup ... maybe more than a Venti.

I would chug three of those a day... my husband would come home after work and I would be
having heart palpitations. I am kind of sensitve to caffiene.

ANYWAY ... what I noticed when I was doing one of those "eating awareness exercises" after chugging one of those mugs on an empty stomach was that the volume was too great and I wanted to binge.

Apparently VOLUME was just as significant a trigger for binging as SUBSTANCE.
Very Interesting.

But never you mind, it was a piece of enlightenment that I did not know quite what to do with so I did nothing. Except sometimes when I had been "doing good" with my eating and food and then gone out on what I call a restaurant binge, and then not be able to stop on the way home, or when I got home, or even after I had been home for quite some time ...

this little though would niggle in the back of my mind ...
is it Substance AND Volume? Ot is it just substance?
Could it possibly be JUST VOLUME?

Well, I am on day twenty on the No S Diet as this day's blog title attests to and I am now certain.
It is JUST VOLUME.
Why am I so sure?
I started getting all mystical last night.
And then my heart opened and I became all weepy this morning about the
majesty, beauty, awesomeness and wonder of life.

Folks, these are spiritual feelings. Yup.
It is volume and by reducing my VOLUME consistently by pretty meticulously following the precepts of the NO S diet ... my soul is awakened from its food coma.

I think I will get out to the park this afternoon and praise the faeries of flower and field and raise my eyes in gratitude to the divinity of the Sun God.

I have been reborn.

Day Nineteen

The sun is still shining outside my window.
My little kitty is curled up asleep beside me.
My husband and I have a "date" night tonight.
Life is good.

Life is really good in this moment.
Where is the food hell that haunted me and dogged my every step a few short weeks ago?

Gone. Poof. Quickly, simply, surgically eradicated ...
with a few simple words.
No Snacks, No Sweets, No Seconds except on days that start with S

makes you wonder...
an eating disoder
OR simply disordered eating

an addiciton
OR just a really bad habit

a sin that they used to call gluttony
where did it go?
was it psychological - acceptance?
spiritual - surrender?

or just the simple gift of someone
sharing their divinely inspired insights with another ...

passing it on

this Friday night and I am just grateful
and that is just a really nice place to be

have sweet sweet dreams tonight ...

Day Eighteen

This is a miracle. And tomorrow is Christmas Eve!

I just got off the No S Bulletin Boards. They are so much fun and then people write things that I am thinking about. Like how S days are like Christmas.

Do you know what that means?
It means that forget 259 shopping days until Christmas ...
Santa now comes 52 times a year! Twice!

And that also means that EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT
is Christmas Eve. I see a whole new way of life ...
a whole new way of arranging the social calendar of humanity ...

I see ... wait a minute
Not only does Santa come every S day ...
but the PEACE of that season is now available to us
everyday ... anyday ...

ok. I know. If you have never had food issues you're not relating...
but to those of us who have ...
well time to figure out what those Stocking Stuffers are going to be THIS Saturday and Sunday ...

lalalalala
Joy to the World
choirs of angels sing
Peace on Earth
silver bells ring
Goodwill to All

I think you get the picture ...

Day Seventeen

Well this is just almost too easy.

What am I going to do? For over 40 years food has been a struggle, an issue, this THING in my life.

What will I eat? What won't I eat? When will I eat? Who shall I eat with?
Maybe I should just eat alone.

This is just not really difficult. I think it is not difficult because it is kind of black and white. I know we are supposed to be beyond black and white as a species ... but look ...
how completely HELPFUL it is in this regard.

No more arguments with self. I should have that. No you shouldn't. I want that. No you don't. I need that. I don't think so.
Years and years of all that and now the conversation has been transformed.

I want that. What's today? Oh. It's Wednesday. Let's see, that is not breakfast, lunch or dinner, then no. You are not going to have that.
Oh.

But ... NOW I have S days ... maybe they should be renamed SUPER DAYS!
Something to look forward to ...
that need for pleasure ....
Something tells me that these are things that we won't ever get beyond as a species.

Hmmm ... this makes No S kind of ingenius.

Day Sixteen

My goodness this is fun.

You might think that the "success" I am experieincing on the No S Diet is somehow typical for me.

I want to assure you that it is not.
Perhaps that is why I am so thrilled and excited ... about it all.

Simplicity is something that is somewhat in vogue ... but how do we actually apply it, live it, jump on the simplicity bandwagon?

Reinhard Engels has created a very simple diet ... so simple it can be described in fourteen words. Kind of profound.

I am becoming more productive and organized in my daily life. To me this is very exciting.

For many years I have grabbed the magazines from the grocery store rack, caught the news stories on tv, trolled the internet, got sucked in by a few infomercials and bought the books ... oh and then there were all the meetings.

I wonder how much time all that took.
Buying the new foods for the new food plans, cleaning out the cupboards and refrigerator of the old foods for no food plan, over exercising, refusing to exercise ....
Add in the binging itself ... oh and then the recovering.

From ALL THAT.

How much time is that?
I think I am going to have some time on my hands.

Sanity, more time, pleasure in eating.
WHAT is not to like about that?

Day Fifteen

Well now even my husband is amazed. I think he was shocked when he got home and I had had a great N day... for he has seen me many times extend weekend treats well beyond Monday ... even into ... yes the next year!

But not this N day ... oh no. This N day I jumped right back into habit.

I was grumpy. It is true. It was Monday.
I had too many things I had to do that I did not want to do.
It is true.
But that's no excuse for a chai tea latte ... for me an S day treat.
Not today sweetie.

Reinhard sez our hunger is an animal. I am certain that mine is a toddler.
A really sweet cute charming toddler with a cherubic smile and big blue eyes.
She is hard to say no to.
She will not relent until she gets a very firm and very definite ... no.

No S gives me the confidence and strength to tell her no.
That gives me the ability to refocus ... and watch ...
as discipline with my food and eating spreads like watercolor on wet paper
out into all the other areas of my life ...
and just as noiselessly...

It is now monday evening and I have finished dinner and eating for the day.
I get to put a nice big green square on my habitcal and that puts a nice
big smile on my inner toddler's face.

Life is good on No S.

Day Fourteen

Last June I beleive it was I ran into the concept of Calorie Restriction.

I made a several month - about three to five months - attempt to Calorie Restrict. I was pretty horrified once I started doing this to find out that I was binging regularly ... and frequently

at least once or twice every single week.

Althout I am not sleek and slim, I have not been particularly overweight.... within a healthy BMI for past 17 years ... I was shocked.

Having been an oveweight adolescent and young adult, I thought I was doing better.

Unfortuntely, counting calories and attempting to squeeze the maximum nutrition from everything and anything that passed between my lips did nothing to help, alleviate the psychology, shame or HABIT of not being able to control what I ate ... day to day ... week to week ... month to month

I have also tried many times for the past twenty-years to JUST STOP eating sugar ...
for religious reasons, for spiritual reasons, for health reasons, for sanity reasons ...
the longest stretch I could go was six months

Then two weeks ago monday, I stumbled across the NO S diet book at Barnes and Noble ... since that moment I have not binged .... not even once ...
I have also not SWORN OFF SUGAR ... one more time ....
I have saved it for S days ...

This No S Diet it is a very good thing.

Day Thirteen

Well this is the greatest success I have had out of ANY "diet" that I have ever been on.

I had a wonderful day.

My hunger seems to be actually diminishing on the No S diet.
I wonder if that is a blood sugar thing.

We went to a dessert restaurant after a very late lunch/early dinner and I did not finish my dessert.
It was too sweet and I was not hungry anymore.
I hope you understand ...
this was not my normal reaction.
Usually I would have not been able to get enough.
Usually I would have ordered more than one dessert.

I had planned to have a light dinner later in the evening but never got around to it ...

I am still completely mystified .... but very very very grateful
for the dramatic impact for the good
that the No S Diet has made on my life.

BTW there is an article about No S in the April 14th issue of Woman's World
which is already out on newstands!

Day Twelve

Well ... there was a little difficulty today ...

it went something like this:

in the past Friday's often became something like FUN FOOD FRIDAY'S

starting anytime past noon I might get into ...
the treats ... whatever they might be and that would just be the prelude
for a weekend of serious food indulgences

ending with a grumpy groggy Monday morning sugar coma
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

but with the clear boundaries of NO S and today being an N day

there are no "F" days on the No S Diet

all it took was a little conversation with myself

I know we used to start on Friday's
I know that it was Fun
To eat whatever Food you wanted
but now we wait
for S days ...
what else is there to do on that TO DO list?

Simple nice straightforward ... not too much angst
just a little emotional speedbump
these kind of difficulties ....

manageable ... very manageable

Day Eleven

Well this is nothing if not SURREAL.

This is the night of the 11th day and I am done this day with food.

A very nice and very clear boundary. Lots of peace. And I thought "fences" were just for making good neighbors.

My husband came home and we were talking.

I was telling him that this is nothing short of miraculous.
That I had been redeemed .... smile ... liberated... free at last
free at last ... waving my arms in the air enthusiastically ...

someone who has not spent the past 40 years on and off a sugar high, trying to control their food intake, going up and down the scale 10 to 20 pounds with frequency and regularity would not understand.

NO. Simply could not understand the peace of all this.

But ANYONE who has struggled with the humiliation and shame of DISORDERED EATING will understand.

I am so grateful for NO S.
Reinhard must have been divinely inspired.

For me it is been an endles battle.
Tonight I can lay down my weapons.

Is this for real?

Day Ten

So I come from the 12 step school of recovery ... you know you have to be abstaining from SOMETHING.

So ... since I have to be abstaining from something and for twenty long years I have tried to make that something be sugar ... never mind that doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results IS insanity ...

oops! where was I? Ah yes. I was trying to abstain from sugar .... with extremely limited success for over twenty years. But this time I WOULD do it ... uh huh. yeah right.

So now on No S I can have sweets on S Days sometimes.

I don't intrepret this as a weekend food free for all. I don't interpret this as a need to eat any- and everything that is pushed in front of my face. I don't intrepret this as a reason to eat anything I really don't enjoy or want. I don't intrepret this as instructions to STUFF myself. Nor do I intrepret this as a reason to ingest sugar to the point I wake up in a sugar coma on Monday mornings.

I intrepret this as IT IS FINALLY OK to walk over to the donut shop with my husband and have a couple of donuts and a cup of chai tea latte. If later in the day I want a few chunks of chocolate ... great enjoy.

Curious about that new dessert place in the boho neighborhood ... by all means check it out. Plan a romantic italian dinner with your husband who is still your lover and gaze meaningfully into each other's eyes over a plate of ... whatever.

So WHAT THEN am I abstaining from on the NO S diet?

For me it is binging.

And I beleive that for me STOPPING BINGING will be a dramatic shift in my life and my consciousness and my experience on this planet.

Here's to Reinhard Engels and to "truly deeply rewarding ourselves"

Day Nine

Well this is exciting! Actually it really is. This is my ninth day on NO S. It has been a breeze for me and I have enjoyed every minute of it.

I was so looking forward to my homemade Rajma Curry with Brown Rice.

Hunger trully is the best seasoning.

And their is this feeling of INNER CLEAN.

Perhaps we are not amoral beings born in an amoral universe to simply live willy nilly as we choose. And perhaps there is something deep within us that KNOWS ...

it KNOWS there is something not right askew off center out of prospective out of alignment deeply incongruous wiht our natural selves .... about ... gluttony ...

Eating more than our fair share ... or eating more than we need ...

Emotional Hunger is much easier to pinpoint when the boundaries around food are very clear. When I want to eat a snack or a sweet all of a sudden it is easy to see it was not because I am physically hungry or needing some form of nutrtional nourishment ... no that e-mail I was really hoping to see when I logged in wasn't sitting in my inbox.

Years of emotional eating ... I can't stop the train but now I have a way to keep it on the tracks and now instead of reading for the peices of chocolate I can go AHA ... lightbulb ... there was that e-mail ... I feel a bit sad ... it's ok to feel a bit sad and get on with the business of living

much better than reaching for the Godiva and never even realizing I was a little bit sad.....