It is uncanny, but getting well into October I have had up to four episodes where I pretty much JUST WANT TO EAT.
Thank goodness that my No S Habit is holding me in good stead and I have lots of practice in ... "how can I handle this without food?"
I was listening to an interesting audio recording the other day called the Neurobiology of We. The guy was talking about implicit v. explicit memories. Implicit memories, as I understand it being memories that are encoded into our bodies but because we have not integrated them through our hippocampus we may not have verbal or "conscious" recall of them.
This can happen when either we are too young and the hippocampus has not developed or under the stress of trauma, the hippocampus shuts down.
I had a particularly traumatic experience in October in my early years. Inevitably, inexplicable waves of sadness wash over me in October. Usually, I find a way to eat them away.
This year I am allowing myself to be sad. This is not brain numbing tear spilling sadness, it is just something deep within that at this time of the year simmers beneath the surface.
The relief and "safety" of the NO S Diet is that as far as my food goes, all I have to do is just have three one plate/bowl meals today. Nothing less and nothing more.
Then I get the opportunity to accept whatever washes up as just something I need to deal with in ways other than eating.
I think this is going to work.
Photo: Homemade Tuna Salad Sandwich on Ezekiel Bread, White Peach
