... when you are not not not

WOW!

What a productive week! This is what I love about No S, all of that healthy structure and effective discipline spilling over into all of the other areas of my life.

Reading my blog or daily check-ins on the No S boards this week you know I was SAD! But you also know I kept my N days green. The results ... I felt the sadness AND kept on moving forward. And now I turn around and look behind me and what an AMAZING week.

Not only did I feel, dip into, absorb, integrate, accept all of that sadness, but I also KICKED BUTT in getting organized and facing down some fears so I could COMPLETE some very significant and necessary tasks in my life. Hmmmmm....

Now it is Saturday and I feel good!

Don't let anyone tell you that getting the stuff done that you need to get done does NOT feel great. GETTING the stuff done that you need to get done FEEL'S GREAT!!!!!!!!!

So does being genuine and not PRETENDING to be happy happy happy when you are just not not not.

Photo: Grilled Salmon Salad with Avocado, Tomato, Shredded Carrot, Arugula, Romaine and EVOO

Implicit Memories

It is uncanny, but getting well into October I have had up to four episodes where I pretty much JUST WANT TO EAT.

Thank goodness that my No S Habit is holding me in good stead and I have lots of practice in ... "how can I handle this without food?"

I was listening to an interesting audio recording the other day called the Neurobiology of We. The guy was talking about implicit v. explicit memories. Implicit memories, as I understand it being memories that are encoded into our bodies but because we have not integrated them through our hippocampus we may not have verbal or "conscious" recall of them.

This can happen when either we are too young and the hippocampus has not developed or under the stress of trauma, the hippocampus shuts down.

I had a particularly traumatic experience in October in my early years. Inevitably, inexplicable waves of sadness wash over me in October. Usually, I find a way to eat them away.

This year I am allowing myself to be sad. This is not brain numbing tear spilling sadness, it is just something deep within that at this time of the year simmers beneath the surface.

The relief and "safety" of the NO S Diet is that as far as my food goes, all I have to do is just have three one plate/bowl meals today. Nothing less and nothing more.

Then I get the opportunity to accept whatever washes up as just something I need to deal with in ways other than eating.

I think this is going to work.

Photo: Homemade Tuna Salad Sandwich on Ezekiel Bread, White Peach

Sushi

A new sushi restaurant opened up in our neighborhood recently, Wonderful Sushi, and we decided to walk over to dinner last night and try it.

IT WAS TRULY WONDERFUL!

We started with tuna ...

Then we moved on to salmon ...

Next up was shrimp tempura hand rolls ...

A spanish roll, this one was a new one for me, and absolutely delicious ...

The sushi chef gave us this fancy shrimp complimentary ... tasty ...

We ended the meal with a Wonderful High Crab Roll, yum! yum! it's been years since I had sushi, it was truly wonderful, fresh and as you can see very beautiful!

Another way to spend your S day meals when you ARE NOT limited by just one plate!

Photos: SUSHI!

'Tis the Season

It's October 9th today and I realize that for me, 'tis the season.

My personal "binging season" is the beginning of October through the end of February.

NOTE: This does not mean I do not binge throughout the year, I do. It simply escalates significantly during this time of the year.

For me, my personal "binging season" has more to do with a series of events that happened during this time of the year in my early childhood, than the season per say, but the coupling of my own personal "anniversary season" with the culture's "food free for all" time of year can have pretty nasty consequences.

I think there has only been one year in my adult life I have not gone through a fairly significant weight gain in this time period, for example, last year I managed to put on about eleven pounds.

I remember ten years ago when my weight had dropped to 107 pounds and I beleive it was the first of October, walking through the grocery store and spying a pumpkin pie, I could FEEL the tidal wave coming. I didn't buy the pie that night but by November 30, I had eaten many pies, and pieces of cornbread with lots of honey butter on them, if I remember correctly.

So I have successfully passed my six month No S Diet anniversary and am settling into maintenance and here comes "the season".

I know that the last six-and-a-half months of building HABIT will probably hold me in good stead. Besides, I do not have to "forego" pie altogether now, I can have as much as I want on my S days and NWS days. That knowledge and trust within myself is a bulwark against binging in itself.

So even though I am AWARE that 'tis the season, my personal "binging season" as it were, I am feeling pretty comfortable with the No S Diet. There have already been two nights I basically just wanted to keep on eating, clean out the fridge, just not stop.

But I did. Stop. When I was done with my one plate/bowl meal.

Last night, it was get to bed early.

Another green N day.

A little bit deeper groove in my habit structure.

One meal at a time, one day at a time, I really BELEIVE this is going to be a DIFFERENT season.

Photo: Hickory Smoked Turkey Burger, Steamed Green Beans with EVOO, Peach

Fast Food

Friday afternoon I was in a hurry and did not have much time for lunch. I had two doctor's appointments (just routine), a session with my personal trainer at the gym and just my "basic work" to do.

I stopped by Jimbo's our local health food store and picked up some fresh wild salmon and a bag of pre-washed organic baby spinach.

I got home and put our metal grill on the oven and let it start heating up. A few minutes later I came back and washed the fish, doused it with EVOO from my Misto and rubbed it down with some Celtic Sea Salt and Black Pepper on both sides, oh and I cut off almost all of the nasty fatty stuff I don't like. I threw it on the grill and set the timer for 5 minutes. I went off and did another couple of things then came back and put our saute pan on the flame. I opened the bag of spinach and flipped the fish when that timer went off. I set the timer again for five minutes. I put 2 teaspoons of EVOO in the saute pan and let that heat a minute are two. Then I threw in the whole bag of spinach and a little bit of Celtic Sea Salt. By the time the fish was done so was the spinach.

WHAT A LOVELY FAST FOOD LUNCH!

I would have sat longer in the drive-thru!

I did take a few minutes afterwards to trot over to Starbucks for my tall Cafe Misto.

Afterwards I was feeling really good and satisfied and got back to work. I had a great afternoon!

Who says "fast food" has to be "bad food" or even "sad food" for that matter!

Photo: Grilled Wild Salmon, Baby Spinach sauteed with EVOO

Happy Friday

I love Fridays!

I know, I am not the only one, most of us do.

What I love about Friday's on No S are this. Almost each and every Friday I get to look back over the week and see how much more productive I am and how much more of an even keel I am on as I get things done in my life. It feels wonderful week after week to be living insteaf of binging.

Sure! Now I have to deal with stuff more straight up, but the point is I deal with it. And then it's done. When I used to binge I would procrastinate and hesitate and make things worse.

I also am able to appreciate my weekends even more on NO S. Why? Because on the weekends my eating is not ever restrictive ... at all. I can eat whateever I want, whenever I want, and as much of it I want as long as I am ENJOYING it.

Funny how that last qualification, ENJOYING it, changes everything.

Ladeedah Ladeedah Ladeedah

Photo: Ingredients for my "MV Pudding", Plain Organic Yogurt, Peaceful Planet Soy Protien Powder and Mona Vie Active Functional Beverage

Sunday Bar B Q

Sunday we barbecued. I guess that is a pretty official end to my veganism, SOB!

WHAT HAPPENED?

When I first started the NO S Diet we had just been to the Indian Cooking Classes and I was making delicious homemade dal several nights a week. Finally my husband spoke and said this stuff is giving me indigestion.

I was stumped. Years ago I had done the Blood Type Diet and I was pretty sure that lentils were "beneficial" for both of our blood types. The Blood Type Diet is ONE of the "diet" books I have hung onto through the years because I actually liked being on it, but found it too rigid.

ANYWAY, I pulled out the book and wa-lah ... lentils were actually an "avoid" for my poor type O husband. He stopped eating them and started doing research slowly over the months on the blood type diet. As an O he is a "red meat eater" of all things.

It seems that since I had tried the diet, Dr. Adamo had added a variation to the blood type called the secretor status. We decided to do the mail order tests in August.

WALAH! I am a non-secretor! About 20% of the population are non-secretors and all of the information about being a non-secretor fits me to a "T". The bummer was this, being a non-secretor A takes me from being a vegetarian as optimal diet to being a "fish eater" SOB!

Since then I have been making the adjustments and am SO GRATEFUL that JIMBO'S our local health food store is a totally "cruelty-free" animal products. It is tough. My husband thought becoming a meat-eater would make his lunches at work easier. But actually it makes it tougher because so few restaurants serve free-range, organic meats and non-farmed fish products.

Thus, the trip to Jimbo's on Sunday to get some acceptable fish and meats and the Bar B Q.

Damn, that hickory smoked wild salmon was good!

Photo: Hickory smoked wild salmon and steam sauted broccoli with EVOO and red pepper flakes.

MAINTENANCE HAS OFFICIALLY ARRIVED

Well that was quick! BIG HUGE GRIN!

When I posted my six months results yesterday, Saturday, the actual results were from Tuesday, September 24, my OFFICIAL six month date. I hadn't had a chance to get on and blog them before Saturday.

ANYWAY, I knew I was getting ready to break through a plateau, I could just FEEL it! Last week I scheduled two personal training sessions with my personal trainer at the gym (usually I just have one) because I wanted to reach my goals by November and the coming month, October, is going to be the most flexible in my work schedule. Doing even two thirty minute sessions a week with my personal trainer is VERY demanding, cause lets face it he's a youngster, about 22, and in about 10 of my 30 minutes I am usually drenched.

Well the week before my vacation he had kicked my butt, and that started a shift. Apparently with my two sessions last week and two very intense strength training sessions, I did one upper and one lower body split with five sets each, NEVER DONE THAT before, looks like I was able to let go of some more body fat.

SO this morning I am happy to report that I have reached my six month goal with my personal trainer in about 4 months and 1 week, using the No S Diet as my food plan.

WIth my current weight of 124.3 and 19.6225 body fat, my body fat is about 24.4 pounds and my lean body mass is about 99.9 pounds. That is right on target with my original goals.

I am going to go on and keep my next 5 weeks with my trainer AS IS and experience the pure bliss of just having fun and completely not worrying about results or meeting my goal. I am already there!

So now, this blog will become my record of my life on MAINTENANCE on the NO S DIET!!!

If I have anything to say about all this it's this:

DOES THE NO S DIET WORK?

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!

Photo: Me on the Scale Monster at MAINTENANCE

Six Month Anniversary and Results

On Tuesday, I "celebrated" my six month No S Diet anniversary ... that is six months of green N days on the No S Diet.

Although my results are not stunning, they are significant.

I started on March 24, 2008.
I weighed 134.6 pounds. I don't know what my bodyfat was, although in December of 2007 when I joined my health club it was 27.7%.
I suspect by March it was higher as I had gained approximately ten pounds between December and March.

YES I can do THAT quite easily when I am BINGING!

Two months later in May, my weight was 126.3 pounds and I was at 24.17% body fat with 30.575 pounds of fat and 95.925 pounds of lean body mass.

The following month, June, I weighed 125.2 pounds.

Then in July I was back "up" to 126.5 pounds.

In August, I was on hiatus and did not post my results.

NOW, in September after six months on the No S diet my weight is 125.6 pounds and my body fat is 20.76% That calculates out to 26 pounds of body fat and 99.3 pounds of lean body mass.

So although there has been basically no change in my weight over the past four months, there has been a SIGNIFICANT change in my body composition from May to September.

My original goal with my personal trainer is to reach 124.5 and 20% body fat by November. It is quite possible that I will acheive that goal by gaining about 0.3 more pounds of muscle and losing 1.1 more pounds of body fat.

I have two more months, I am delighted with my progress so far and I am going to go for it!

I will post my results again in November, wish me luck!


Photo: Me on the Scale Monster!!!!!!!!!!!! Bwahahhhhh!

REAL SUCCESS

Let's see what do I want to blog about today?

My lack of topic is directly attributable to the No S Diet. Keeping my N days green and enjoying my S days AND OF COURSE my NWS days really smooths out the highs and lows in my life. Most often these days I am on an even keel and focussing on the projects or folks or kitties in front of me and just doing what ever needs to get done, or whatever I want to do, or nothing at all.

Nope. No big emotional highs and lows just smooth, steady sailing.

What is wonderful is that as the days go on I slowly forget ... all of that "diet stuff". I swear sometimes I don't even KNOW how many calories is in whatever I am eating.

ISN'T THAT FABULOUS? I think that is REAL SUCCESS and I am excited as more and more "diet mentality" falls away and I am left with just a natural healthy joyous pleasure with food and eating and enough energy and time to do the rest of the things that I want to do in this lifetime ...

Hmmmmmm.... so what shall I title today's blog?

REAL SUCCESS sounds good.

Photo: Kitty being curious about my one bowl of Cottage Cheese with Cinnamon and Vanilla and Pineapple

Shrink Yourself

Often when the subject of emotional eating comes up on the No S Diet boards I mention the Shrink Yourself program www.shrinkyourself.com

Why?

It works. It can be painful, difficult, frustrating and dig a little bit deeper than you really want or think you need to go, but it works to get to the roots of emotional eating.

Years of conventional types of therapy and overeaters anonymous and intuitive eating, etc., etc. did not reach the roots of my emotional eating but the Shrink Yourself program did.

It was painful, difficult and frustrating, but I do not regret the three months that it took to get through the on-line program which I did between November 2007 and February 2008. In the process I gained ten pounds, but if I had the No S Diet I might not have. It is hard to say.

What I can definitely say for sure is that the work I did with the Shrink Yourself on-line program prior to discovering the No S Diet has been a big part of my SUCCESS on the NO S Diet.

If you find yourself having a problem keeping your N days GREEN, check out the online program and see if it is a "missing ingredient" that might help you make it over the hump.

Compared to traditional therapy it is highly affordable and I loved the self-paced approach.

Although you could just read the book, I am not sure it would be as effective as the on-line program.

Photo: Cover of the Shrink Yourself Book by Robert Gould

"Self-Denial is a Great Sweetener of Pleasure"

"Self-Denial is a Great Sweetner of Pleasure" ... this is a lovely quote that I pulled from the No S diet boards, thank you Jammin' Jam.

I have found this concept to be true, especially as I adhere to the No S Diet. Where I used to beleive that binging was a pleasurable experience I am finding that a well-timed and limited treat is MUCH more satisfying and therefore much more pleasurable!

Why is this? I will guess.

First of all, no matter how much very temporary satisfaction binging brings, it is ALWAYS followed by the uncomfortable physical sensations of overeating and it is most always accompanied by the natural emotional guilt of eating more than our fair share and/or more than what is an appropriate portion for our body ... i.e. our inner sense of shame at our own greed.

Secondly when you eat whatever "treat" you want whenever you "want" to eat it, it by default becomes a commonplace experience and thus its specialness is diminished and it is no longer EXPERIENCED as a treat, thus reducing its capacity to provide pleasure.

Finally, when we do eat our treats in appropriate and/or limited portions the sense of pleasure is actually heightened by the lack of guilt and uncomfortable physical sensations of overeating. So the pleasure is almost doubled because it is not linked with ANY negative associations.

So by denying our selves unlimited treats in quanitity and frequency we are GREATLY SWEETENING OUR PLEASURES when we do partake!

I like it!

Photo: Organic Free Range Turkey Meatballs, Steamed Green Beans with EVOO, Celtic Sea Salt and Fresh Ground Black Pepper and Figs

Yummy Kale Salad

One of the things I love to eat in late summer when the Reed avocados are in season and the tomatoes are colorful and ripe is a yummy kale salad.

Several years ago I went raw for about four months. I discovered many new ways to eat and prepare food. One of my favorite dishes was a Kale Salad by Chad Sarno. This recipe is now all over the web with different "creators" but here it is and it is YUMMY!

2 cups finely shredded or torn kale

1 cup diced tomato

1 cup avocado in chunks

juice of 1/2 large lemon

1 TBSP Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1 teaspoon Celtic Sea Salt

1/4 teaspoon cayenne

In a mixing bowl toss all ingredients together, squeezing as you mix to "wilt" the kale and cream the avocado. Serve immediately.

So when the Reed avocados are in season and the tomatos look like this:

Whip up a very fresh and very yummy kale salad and ENJOY!

Photos: Kale Salad with Figs, Russian Heirloom Tomatoes

Regaining Your Self

This is a great book. For anyone like me who has had a long term eating disorder. For me it has not been anorexia or bulimia, but simply binge eating disorder.

This book was a big help. It basically sets forth that the best or maybe the only way to heal from an eating disorder is to find something else in your life that you are equally or more passionate about than eating/dieting.

I read this book last year and it really got me to thinking.

For me, there has always been a HUGE emotional component to my overeating. The No S Diet is the perfect eating structure for healing binge eating disorders. What I learned from reading Regaining Your Self reminds me that when I am feeling "rebellious" on N Days, I really just need to focus on the things in my life that I am passionate about.

Its amazing the difference that makes.

For me, I could not be where I am today without following the No S diet AND what I read in this book, Regaining Your Identity.

Photo: Book Cover - Regaining Your Self by Ira Sacker

Watermelon Flower

Watermelon has been in season and we have been enjoying it for breakfast on the weekends. YUM! YUM!

My husband made these nice little watermelon flowers for us. They were petite delicious organic melons and we enjoyed every bite.

My S days have really "settled" down.

As my six month No S Diet anniversary approaches I really want to say that I am loving the No S Diet even more now than when I started, if that is even possible!

It feels so good to be letting go of all the "dieting" garbage that has filled my mind for so many years.

I am enjoying my N Days and my S Days more than ever. And of course NWS days are great!

Before No S I could never acheive moderation. I was either too rigid or too indulgent. The No S Diet is the ONLY thing that has helped me acheive the right balance of freedom and discipline.

Thank you again Reinhard!

Photo: Watermelon Flower

Life is Good on the No S Diet

Life is good on the No S Diet. The past five plus months have marked huge shifts in my pschological and emotional relationship with food.

One of the things that I did when I was on my August hiatus from the No S Diet Boards was I got rid of all of my diet books. But before I gave them away I wrote the No S website clearly onto all of the table of contents.

When I first started the No S Diet, I believe it was Lily, that brought this great idea up on the boards. I had wanted to do it for months but never got around to it because I just didn't have the time.

But when I was taking my hiatus I had some extra moments and used them to do some "housec cleaning" things like this. It felt great to write the No S Diet website in all of those books and get them out of my house.

I am so glad that I will not be buying anymore diet books because, for me, life is good on the No S Diet.

Photo: Organic Free Range Turkey Bacon Lettuce and Tomato Sandwich, Carrot Sticks and Figs

The Right Balance of Freedom and Discipline

The right balance of freedom and discipline. Seems to me this is what you need for success in any endeavor. Enough freedom to allow for individuality, creativity and variety and enough discipline to stay the course through to see sustainable and permanent results.

The No S Diet definitely provides my eating with the right balance of freedom and discipline.
The lovely and remarkable thing is that the right balance of freedom and discipline then spreads out through my entire life.

Now that I have been doing No S for five months plus, this is having a really nice effect (as opposed to the really awful effect of binging, dieting and restricting) throughout my entire life.

I love it love it love it. And as I said in my last blog, I am looking forward to a really productive Fall/Winter end of year, rather than the falling into that sinkhole of binging!

Photo: Turkey Chili, Swiss Chard sauted in EVOO with a splash of Balsalmic Vinegar, Figs

New Furry Friends

After our dear kitty Lola departed, I thought I would enjoy a period of time ... months? a year or two? without the responsibility of a pet.

Was a surprised that I just could not "quell" the desire to "adopt" a few days after Lola passed and I had cleaned up her towels and toys and bowls, etc. With a nice size home and several cat "trees" I just couldn't deny that we are pretty much a "premium" home for kitties.

There is a wonderful local petstore in our neighborhood that we pass by going to grocery store, and dry cleanres. Last week they had some adorable kittens. I went by last Monday and they pretty much "grabbed" my heart.

I slept on it, and Tuesday after lunch I had to go by and see if they were still there. They got adopted that afternoon. The store owner gave them shots, washed them up, and clipped their nails and we brought them home early that evening.

They are now nine weeks old and you can see they are precious. They are brothers and they get along famously. They are adjusting to their new home and I simply love having them around. They are fun to play with and fun to watch play and sleep with one another.

It is really fun to have healthy, happy kitties underfoot. No one will ever take the place of our Lola, but I have learned that I really love having the "animal energy" of furry freinds in the house. For me, spending time with them is relaxing, centering and nurturing.

I have wondered if I was not on NO S would I have started Binging when Lola passed and denied my heartfelt desire to adopt again? Since I was not binging I had many good cries over Lola in the weeks before she passed and then as she was leaving us. In the past I might have turned to food to crush the part of my heart that was ready and able, not to replace Lola, but to provide a new home for two lovely little creatures who are very unique and different in their own right.

I was hoping to blog more in August, but my life interrupted.

I am hoping to continue my blogging and talk more about some of the tools I have used to help alleviate my emotional eating in September.

Thank you to all of you who come by and visit and have hung in through August. I did not post my five month results in August because I forgot and there was no signficant change. I think for the rest of this first year I will report my results every two months. I am so close to maintenance, that for me things are moving very slowly.

I have continued to stay "green" on N days throughout August and took one NWS day.

In September I will take four NWS days, today - Labor Day, two birthdays and another for my husband's vacation.

NO S continues to alter my relationship with food DRAMATICALLY and have deep and far-reaching effects in my life.

HAPPY LABOR DAY!

I am looking for a happy, joyous and productive Fall!

Photo: Two Brothers!

Death in the Family

Sadly we had a death in the family this week.

Our little kitty passed away in our arms on Wednesday morning. She was the sweetest little kitty and there have been lots of tears and smiles as we remember all the joy and love that she brought us.

She was a shelter cat. We adopted her just over six years ago. She came from a home of thirty-one cats and we always believed she loved finally being an "only child".

Before she left us, I told her that she was well loved and thanked her for all that she gave us and taught us.

Photo: Kitty's empty box that she slept in for past two weeks.

Figs, Tea and Dark Chocolate

Looks like another great S day for me!

Figs are in season and the ones that I got at the Farmer's Market this morning are absolutely DELICIOUS. Top that off with a chai tea latte and a little bit of dark chocolate and all I have to say is what a satsifying treat!

Just wanted to make a note that after my first week off the boards, the "chatter" has utterly died away. i.e. those crazy thoughts of ... why not just ... eat this or that and rack up lots of red days.

Apparently HABIT really is a strong creature and the more ingrained it is the less you have to think about it and the less energy you have to commit to eat.

But isn't that exactly what Reinhard has been trying to tell us all along!

I am getting amazing things done this month, staying green on NO S and thoroughly enjoying myself along the way!

Photo: Figs, Starbucks Chai Tea Latte, Yummy Dark Chocolate Bar!